Monthly Archives: April 2010

Film Review: The Contenders

Posted on April 30, 2010 | Leave a comment

THE CONTENDERS

reviewed by Carlos Stafford The Model Critic

 
Spunky, confident, and humorous “The Contenders” is a well done “Big Chill”–like feature film by Marta Mondelli.  

RAFFAELE PISCOPIELLO AND MARTA MONDELLI RECEIVING THE ALOHA ACCOLADE AWARD AT THE HONOLULU FILM FESTIVAL APRIL 2010

Good friends, who have been genitally connected years before, meet-up for a birthday celebration on a beautiful island beach house.  The reunion takes a turn for the worse when the birthday girl turns up dead in her room.  Before the cake is cut, detectives arrive, interrogations ensue, and suspicions float.

Mondelli, who also wrote and stars in the film, conveys the atmosphere beautifully. But most of all, she digs into the vacuous, desperate lives of those present; she does it with a light hand, and the film does not take itself too seriously.  In fact, it is very noir-comical.  As an actress, Mondelli has a relaxed presence, and conveys her character, the one who has traveled the world, the knowing sophisticate, if you will, with authority.  We see things through her eyes.
Throughout, it poses the tongue-in-cheek question–what is the meaning of happiness.  Don’t expect deep thoughts here.  With a seemingly whimsical tip-of-the-hat to Bergman, its more of a playful existential guffaw; everyone is stuck and imprisoned by their choices. Overall though, the movie is light hearted and fun with good performances all around.

 

 

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Adventures in LA: Fairfax Avenue

Posted on April 23, 2010 | Leave a comment

After meeting Joyce Kleifield, I knew I had met my match.  A powerhouse full of energy and ideas.  Organized and plain smart.  I instantaneously adored her.  Finally, someone enthusiastically on the same page.  She just got it immediately.

What do I mean by “get it” you ask?  Well, ok, let’s go back to the beginning. 

I recently got an offer to help out the Fairfax Business Association re-do it’s website, brand and marketing.  Like the avenue itself, the FBA is in need of a re-vitalization.  Joyce is the Association’s Chairperson.

It’s a terrific project!  Old meets new. Vintage meets modern.  Urban and community.  A walking section of the enormously “pocketed” city of Los Angeles that is a virtually unknown cultural hub. — Of course not by the time I am through.

Listening to Joyce was a breath of fresh air.  She spoke about her two brilliant sons, sans bragging.  One of which had done all of the original photography for the current website.  We are keeping all of it – it’s soooo good.  The other a budding teen filmmaker.  It is Hollywood after all.  And then began to communicate the enormity of the Fairfax undertaking.  For many years now Joyce and very few others have been shouldering the burden of trying to organize the various landlords, businesses and citizens of the surrounding area in banding together to maintain cleaner streets, street lamps, increase garbage pickup and more.  The new beautifully landscaped North Fairfax median is completely due to her dedication and the generous support of resident liason Robert McCray.  It is the coup de gras of the current campaign.  But nothing lasts forever without maintainence.  And so it is left for these two fellows, as it were, to continue burgeoning on finding ever more resources and grants. 

 Joyce had just returned from the Melrose Association’s meeting with flyers, brochures and a notebook of handwritten information.  I could see why she was in such demand as a fundraiser.  She is tenacious and accurate.  It was enough to almost make me feel unprepared for our meeting.  Almost.  I was, in fact, armed.

Simple straitforward notes dense with strategy and best of all a demo website brilliantly provided in under an hour by my creative partner, Michael Cornell of Semplice Pictures.  She gushed.  Help had arrived.

In the weeks and months to come this will provide the brand(ed) new launching pad to finally attracting  desperately needed community support, getting Fairfax Avenue back in the limelight as an LA destination.  And with so much to discover from Willoughby to Wilshire, it’s just the kind of urban adventure I have been dying to embark upon.

Starting next Monday — lunch at Cantors!  YUM!!!!

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Posted in Activism, Art, Blogging, Media, Money, Music, Non-Profit, Theatre

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Ask The Expert: What’s The Story? with Gayl Murphy

Posted on April 22, 2010 | Leave a comment

A Conversation With Gayl Murphy                                                                           by Jackie ONeal                                

When it comes to touching the media’s hot buttons, Gayl Murphy is an insider with trade secrets to die for. After spending 17 years working as a network correspondent for ABC, she said she was shocked by the unpreparedness of her interview subjects.  “The most common mistake most people make in media interviews, is that they think the interview is about them. It’s not. It’s about the story,” she said.

Her book Interview Tactics! How To Survive The Media Without Being Clobbered concentrates on building concise messages that audiences will easily internalize, and will make any interview, a winner.

Murphy believes that to dispel the fear that accompanies media interviews, it’s important to  create the mindset that an interview is a collaboration. “It’s like playing tennis. You have to be on the same team,” she said.

She recommends authors and entrepreneurs give the media what they hunger for- newsworthy angles. Murphy is a great believer in seasonal story angles.  “There is a designation for every day of the calendar year year. Tie your book or product to that,” she said.

As far as Murphy is concerned, the so-called “Elevator Pitch” is outmoded and much too long-winded for today’s fast-paced world. Instead, she suggests building “A killer pitch.” Murphy’s killer pitch can be tailored to many different scenarios and is a more concise way of delivering a message about products or services.

Murphy notes, “an Elevator Pitch is about who you are and what you’re selling.
And, an “Interview Tactics! Killer Pitch” is whatever you need it to be in whatever
environment you happen to be in at anytime. Making it the right tool for the right time.”

Murphy said it’s vital to be flexible with a pitch if are targeting a diversified market. “Think about all the different markets your business serves and start expanding who you pitch to. Can you have a separate pitch for stay at home moms, seniors, astronauts, students, families, solopreneurs, reinvented entrepreneurs, scientists, insurance salesmen? You get the picture,” she wrote.

The formula to creating the killer pitch is outlined in detail in her book. What I love about Murphy’s book are the workbook pages provided at the end, so the reader can apply what they learned right away.

Murphy asserts that the killer pitch is full of drama, color, and visual detail so that the audience gets riveted, and the subject becomes memorable. Messages, Murphy explained, should be compelling and use of spot-on metaphors helps a great deal.

Another point Murphy brings to light, is the importance of pitching the right media person. It’s part and parcel of giving the media what they want. It also demonstrates familiarity with their work whether it’s print or broadcast. Since reporters are always on deadline, it’s rewarding to them when someone remembers their last feature story, or TV segment.

 Want more media tactics now? Download a free interview tactics report by visiting http://www.interviewtactics.com

Also visit Gayl online: http://GaylMurphy.com

   

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April / May Events — At A Theatre Near You — NYC and LA

Posted on April 20, 2010 | Leave a comment

Here is some of  what’s happening with Gia On The Move…

Get the stories “freshly pressed!”  Sign up for the blog today. 

Maybe someone you know would like our stories?  Forward this page to a friend.  http://www.GiaOnTheMove.com

Have a story suggestion?  Give us a shout!  Email us at gia@giamedia3.com.

This past month, I have been asking the universe to help me get rid of what is not working in my life.  Two weeks ago I attended a private, early morning sale at Staples.  Upon my arrival I was invited to enter a raffle.  Twenty minutes later I hear my name called.  You would have thought I had just won a trip to Paris on the Price is Right, the way I ran up the aisle, all giddy and giggly.  My prize?  A shredder.  How’s that for a response!  

Well speaking of shredding in another way, there are plenty of people making waves this month coast to coast from New York City to Los Angeles.  Free events, art and culture.  Be sure to check some if not all of them out!   

WHAT’S HAPPENING IN NEW YORK CITY  

There’s still time!   

Anna Gutto and Nick Stevenson on the set of The Contenders

Tickets for the New York Premiere of  The Contenders are still on sale.  Only $6 and no waiting in line.  Purchasing a ticket in advance will also RSVP you for the following reception.  Visit the link below for more information and ticket sales.  The Contenders will premiere on April 28th @ 9pm at the Anthology Film Archives located at 32 Second Avenue @2nd Street in New York City.  

 http://www.thecontendersthemovie.com/buy_tickets  

Of course if Thursday is your night then:

Every Thursday Night @ 8:30 pm 

                                    at the JOE FRANKLIN COMEDY CLUB

                                              in CHARLEY O’s restaurant

                           Located at 45th St and 8th Ave., in TIMES SQUARE

                                the WHAT’S YOUR PROBLEM? Music Show 

                                    SPONSORED BY the CRUNCH GYM

In May we will have Janet Arneau one of New York’s finest comedian’s entertaining you! She will also play What’s Your Problem?, giving our audience the opportunity to win prizes! Everyone goes home happy and a couple of audience members go home with presents. One of our prizes being a 2 week membership to Crunch Gym!

Also to resume in May, if you have a secret desire to be a comedian yourself, well you are in luck, we also play “LET’S MAKE A COMEDIAN” giving any audience member a 2 minute try at making the audience laugh!

Come and join THE FUN make a reservation at: 212-977-0025

Or buy a ticket online: 

 

On the lighter side:

BOOK SIGNING PARTIES WITH HOLLYWOOD CORRESPONDENT                   GAYLE MURPHY, AUTHOR OF INTERVIEW TACTICS:   NEW YORK & HOLLYWOOD…May 1st and 8th.
 
COME TO THE T-SALON!! YOU’RE INVITED to a Book Signing Party. Bring
a friend or three. Grab a comfy seat and enjoy an aromatic tea from a faraway
land and a scrumptious snack. YUM.

If you don’t know about the gorgeous T-Salon, you need to! It’s the 1st sustainable
tea bar and market. http://www.tsalon.com

Los Angeles Event: Sat. May 1st from 1p-3p, The T-Salon/LA, 7111 Melrose Ave.
(W of La Brea), Hollywood, CA 90046

New York Event: Sat. May 8th 5p-7p, The T-Salon/Chelsea (in the Chelsea Market),
459 E. 15th St. NY, NY 10001.

We’ll be having fun and raising funds for charity on both coasts! A portion of book
sales to benefit GINA for Missing Persons FOUNDation. An AMAZING organization
that’s already found over 500+ people!!

WHAT’S HAPPENING IN LOS ANGELES  

  Mark your calendars!  

Writer and starring Actor, David L. Ray has revised this heartfelt one man show which premiered in Los Angeles.  The solo performance of 7 Miles From Prison will be produced this summer at the historic Cherry Lane Theate in Manhattan as part of the Fresh Fruit Festival.  

Before the trip back East, David well be holding a FREE Los Angeles workshop performance  in Culver City.
 May 16th, 2010 — 6 PM
Culver-Palms UMC
4464 Sepulveda Blvd.
Culver City, CA 90230  

Save The Date! 

Hollywood Boulevard Sneak Preview and Reception of

FOOTPRINTS

One day on Hollywood Boulevard, from sunrise to sunset, a gal wakes up on the footprints of Grauman’s Chinese with no memory. 

The Egyptian Theatre — hosted by the American Cinematheque                     Wednesday, April 28th, 7:30PM 
It will be quite a night, including a cast/crew Q&A and a post-screening wine & champagne reception hosted by Barefoot Winery.  Along with Sybil Temtchine (Ten Benny opposite Adrien Brody, USA’s Kojak), the cast includes Pippa Scott (John Ford’s The Searchers) and H.M. Wynant (Sam Fuller’s Run of the Arrow, classic Twilight Zone, Batman, Gunsmoke, and much more), who will all be present for the discussion afterward. 

They had a fantastic debut at the STARZ DENVER FILM FESTIVAL where the film was nominated for the “Emerging Filmmaker Award” and received a rave print review: 
 
“Fascinating… A Fun Film… I Loved it!”  Gil Whiteley, Denver Daily News
On our website (http://footprintsthefilm.com/), you can read many prominent industry endorsements, see the poster, and view the trailer.  
TRAILER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEves9kYs_g 

“It would mean so much to me if you were able to join all of us on this very special night.” ~ Steve Peros 
If you are unable to attend the April 28th screening, there is an additional screening of the film in about a week on Tuesday, March 30th, 7PM as part of the 12th METHOD FEST Film Festival.  

The Method Fest Film Festival screening will take place at the Regency Agoura Hills 8, Theater 1, 29045 Agoura Hills Road, Agoura Hills, CA 91301.  It will be followed by a cast/crew Q&A.

And finally… don’t miss the last two performances of:

The Black Box Theater is proud to present the premier of an experimental evening of one act-plays written and directed by the multi-talented artist Z.N. Lupetin performed by Mark Weiler (The Forgotten, Cold Case, The Mentalist) and Alisha Seaton (Universal Pictures horror hit-The Fourth Kind).

“Rubber Necking” will be an edgy evening (think Albee meets Durang on speed) that will showcase the actors playing three very different couples coping with the consequences of their often jet-black love affairs. Moving from absurdly funny to genuinely frightening within the span of a few minutes, these three bizarre, sexually charged and in the end, deeply human plays will entertain you and stick with you for a long time.

The stories are as follows:

“FIND SOMEONE! [INC] ” A post-apocalyptic dating service brings together an abused and marginally-insane law-office temp (who desperately needs a man to get her pregnant) and a disturbed but charming construction worker (who may be a serial killer).

“BIRTHDAY BOY” A professor of atomic ethics in a dying marriage has a tradition every year where he pays a high school girl, a friend of the family, to be his “present”.

“DOWN THE HILL” Jack and Jillian are two heroin addicts who have committed a strange and unspeakable sexual act the night before that may or may not have killed the baby that Jillian is about to have. They wait together by the phone for the final results from the doctor.

Friday, April 23rd – 8pm
Saturday, April 24th – 8pm

Tickets are $12

Plus!  Sweet musical guests to join the show!

The Leftover Cuties: Apr  23
http://www.myspace.com/leftovercuties

Homesick Elephant Apr  24
http://www.myspace.com/homesickelephant

YOU CAN BUY TICKETS AT THE DOOR, OR ONLINE IF YOU ARE COOL LIKE THAT:
http://www.theblackboxtheater.org/apps/webstore/products/show/1019839

website and more info: http://rubberneckingtheplay.wordpress.com/

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Teenage Fugitive Assumes New Identity

Posted on April 18, 2010 | 1 Comment

This week CNN broadcasted a report on the now infamous, modern Jesse James, teen fugitive, Colton Harris-Moore.  I have been following this story about Colton’s inheroic but evidently virally exciting escapades including the fact that Pacific Northwest Law Enforcement still can’t “get him”, ever since reading about it a couple of weeks ago.  Even joined Colton’s Facebook page.  And then one day one of my creative partners came to me with and idea.   How weird was it that Colton and teen music celeb Jason Castro looked so much alike via Jason’s new album cover.  So we decided to comment.  It was a great time and we think we’ve started our own new trend.  Below is the story.  Give us a comment if you like.  I am sort of routing for Colton, bad deeds and all, taking teenage boredom to a new level.

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Theatre Reviews: Sondheim on Sondheim

Posted on April 15, 2010 | Leave a comment
 
 
Contributed by New York Theatre Reviewer Carlos Stafford – The Model Critic
  
It was an immediate standing “O” for Sondheim on Sondheim  at Roundabouts’ Studio 54 production in New York City.  Still in previews, Vanessa Williams, Tom Wopat and the doyenne of song, Barbara Cook, head up a joyous biographic tribute to Stephen Joshua Sondheim.
Winner of a Pulitzer Prize and numerous Tony’s, this prolific lyricist has enjoyed a storied career spanning five decades .  Starting with his childhood neighbor and mentor, Oscar Hammerstein, he has collaborated with many luminaries from the Broadway Stage; Jerome Robbins, Leonard Bernstein, and Richard Rodgers, to name a few.
 
His overriding themes and ideas are adult and poetic, and his idiosyncratic music and lyrics often convey neurotic people on an emotional precipice. Some of his major successes for music and lyrics include ”Company,” “Follies,” “Sweeney Todd,” “Assassins,” “Passion,” “A Little Night Music,” and the great “Sunday in the Park with George;” and lyrics for “West Side Story,” “Gypsy,” ”Do I Hear a Waltz,” and “Candide.”
 
Video projections of Sondheim commenting on his childhood, his early years as a struggling artist, and the creative process for each of his works, were artfully delivered.  They showed Sondheim as warm, relaxed and humorous–in his home, at his piano, lounging on a couch, his poodle nearby, an a his desk.  All is very intimate and friendly. He recounts his close relationship with Oscar Hammerstein, and how he adored him.  He said he would have done anything Oscar would have done–if Oscar would have been a geologist, he relates, he too would’ve been a geologist.  All this comes at a tumultuous time in the young boy’s life, his parents having been recently divorced.  Oscar became a friend and mentor, and was a pivotal figure in his early development. 
 
Another intimate revelation is the fact that he wrote about love relationships and marriage, but had never been in love, or in a relationship, until he was sixty years old.  When he wrote “Company,” a stark look at urban marriage, he had no idea what to write; so he interviewed a friend who had been married, pencil and yellow pad in hand, and he received his information.  That, he said, was the unlikely genesis of the musical.  Always charming and articulate, he walks us through similar moments of his life in a graceful and easy manner. 
 
Underscoring his own words, comes the musical arrangements of his most successful works.  The cast is terrific, the songs are delivered with energy and passion, and there are many moving, electric moments.  The lyrics have sweep and majesty as in “Sunday;” great depth in “Being Alive;” and profound melancholia with a song covered by Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor, Judy Collins,and Barbara Streisand, and countless others, “Send in the Clowns.”  My personal favorite, was a small, but charming song, “Anyone Can Whistle.”   
Anyone Can Whistle

The Original Broadway Poster of Anyone Can Whistle

It was bliss, I think you’ll agree.
The Story
It’s a completely different kind of Sondheim evening: an intimate portrait of the famed composer in his own words…and music. An ensemble cast, led by Tony Award winner Barbara Cook, Vanessa Williams and Tom Wopat, will perform brand-new arrangements of over two dozen Sondheim tunes, ranging from the beloved to the obscure.

March 19 – June 13, 2010

Studio 54, 254 W 54th St
(Between B’way & 8th Avenues)
Ticket Services: 212.719.1300

 

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Quote of the Day: by Fred Astaire

Posted on April 13, 2010 | Leave a comment

“I have no desire to prove anything by dancing.  I have never used it as an outlet or means of expressing myself.  I just dance.  I just put my feet in the air and move them around.”

I’ve featured a surprise below.  Not your normal Fred Astaire profile.  ;)

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Posted in Dance, Media, Movement, Movement Techniques, Music, Tap Dance, Uncategorized

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It’s Never Out of Fashion to Be Fashionable at the Theatre

Posted on April 10, 2010 | Leave a comment

Last night I attended The Caltech Dance Club recital.  Students of one of my clients were performing in the show so I ended up with the sincerely generous gift of a complimentary ticket. 

Now, I love live theatre.  I am a stage performer myself and I can say, from the bottom of my heart that there is nothing like the absolutely fulfilling thrill of performing in a live show in front of an audience.  Anything can happen.  Spontaneity is king.  Best of all, knowing that you have affected these spectators in some way by the time they leave the theatre is the ultimate payoff.

As an audience member, I get seriously keyed up.  My expectation leaving my house for the evening is that I will see something wonderful.  If I am lucky, something extraordinary.  So I prepare.

For me the preparation of attending a theatrical performance, be it drama, dance, opera, musical theatre, philharmonic etc, is like getting ready for a really hot date or for a walk on the Red Carpet.   Picking out clothing.  Styling my hair and makeup.  Organizing dinner reservations before or after or at least picking a place to move on to later for food, drinks and discussions.   Finding directions in advance so that I can take my time and be leisurely about my arrival. I want to enjoy the setting, the outdoor/indoor environment, especially in the Spring and Summertime when the weather is lovely.  Meeting other people.  Rapping.  Getting their points of view.  Often in New York City, the older crowds have seen literally every show with the original casts and are so knowledgable, it is an experience just to hear the history, the comparisons and the commentary.  And getting coffee or a little snack beforehand which is particularly enjoyable.  I read the program to familiarize myself with  the performers, the presentation, the notes, and the synopsis if there is one.  Then I sit back quietly and let myself be taken over.

Now ok, to younger audiences these days it may seem a bit affected, the whole dressing up thing especially.  After all, companies like American Ballet Theatre, The Metropolitan Opera and the like, have been working so hard to become less formal, relax the dress codes so as not to scare the masses away and make art “for everyone.”

But I have to admit, one of the single most depressing moments of my life was witnessing an opera goer enter the Met one evening in shorts and sandals.  It took so much of the dramatic effect of the evening away.  (Especially when ticket prices did not go down.)  It suddenly felt less special.  Of course,  I myself used to show up in as many gowns I could possibly muster or borrow from my designer friends.  It always gave me the feeling of being fabulous.  I would even take the New York City Subway in them!

But getting back to the point…my making “an evening” out of going to a live performance was and is still not just about me.  It’s about making an offering back to the performers themselves.  Artists spend countless hours dreaming, inventing, creating, organizing, rehearsing and prepping for even as simple as a 30 minutes display for the audience.  I want to let them know that I care, that I took as much time being interested and creating a drama around their event.  The buzz, spin, reverie and accolades off-stage are just as important to an artist as what happens for them on-stage.   A service a am most happy to provide.

So as I looked around at all of the students attending in baggy sweatpants, ripped t-shirts, sneakers and jeans, I couldn’t help but wonder what any of this really meant to them outside of seeing their friends dance for the first and possibly the last time on stage – this is a school which produces scientists after all.

What I do know is if I am correct, that people adore “spectacle”  and are really dying to ”break out” themselves, I couldn’t have received a better accolade, when a young man approached myself and  my client.   “Are you professionals?  Are you professional dancers?  I could tell by the way you looked.  And your posture is amazing.  You stand so upright!? ”   (We can save posture for another discussion about what’s degenerated in the modern age.  But what a confirmation. ) 

Perhaps my client and I also influenced in a positive way last night as well.  A rewarding reminder why being fashionable at the theatre will always be fashionable.

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Posted in Art, Ballet, Blogging, Dance, Music, Opera, Shakespeare, Tap Dance, Theatre

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Dance: Ankle Stability Help

Posted on April 8, 2010 | Leave a comment

Just like the core, dancers need to focus on feet for strength and stability

Simply start standing on one leg during the day.  As often as you can during the day simply stand on one leg, bend the knees slightly making sure that your arches are activated, your big toe is still in contact with the ground and your knee cap is over the second toe.  If this is easy, try closing your eyes.  By challenging your balance frequently during the day you will increase the responsiveness of the little muscles and ligaments around your feet and ankles and this can help to stabilize them.

~ Lisa Howell, Physiotherapist specializing in educating dancers

For more information about Lisa’s work click the link above or visit:  http://perfectpointe.wordpress.com/about/

Want to read more about Core Strength?  Click here:  Dance: The Answer to the Core Question

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Posted in Ballet, Dance, Fitness, Football, Injury, Martial Arts, Movement, Movement Techniques, Rehabilitaion, Tap Dance

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You Are Overqualified!

Posted on April 6, 2010 | 2 Comments

I’ve been following a friend’s job search progress which has been a complete disaster in the last 6 months.   She’s a pretty normal, ordinary human being with a college education and lot’s of experience having worked in a fair amount of industries including sales, entertainment and fashion.

I say a disaster because she has followed all of the rules of engagement so far to no avail including…

Updating her current resume.

Having several versions of her resume.

A diverse list of references.

Contacting agencies.

Submitting online.

Walking into actual locations and asking in person.

Emailing friends and other business contacts for leads, help, jobs and references.

Perhaps I’ve skipped something on the list.  Perhaps she has either failed to tell me or simply forgotten in all of the insanity of finding gainful employment.  In any case, still nothing.

My friend recently filled out a job application for a sales position at a well known pop retail establishment and received this response:

###

Thank you for your interest in pursuing a career at (retail store).  We appreciate the time you took to apply for a job opportunity at our company (FYI 45 minutes filling out an online questionaire).

Your background and experience are impressive (she has a degree in Fashion Merchandising and Marketing and retail experience as the #1 sales person in the entire domestic US with a former upscale luxury goods establishment – just for starters), however, we will not be pursuing your candidacy at this time. We will, however, keep your resume on file should another suitable position become available that matches your background. (hmmmmm – management maybe?)

Again we appreciate your interest in (retail establishment) and wish you success in your career endeavors.

###

This was for an as listed, “part time job” not a “career.”  That was a new glitch in the process that was not initially explained. 

Ok so, my question is, “What next?”  What do you do in an overcrowded job market with no jobs, all of your savings are spent and limited time to get back on your feet before the next rent check is due?  What do you do when the only employer out there who is absolutely reveling about the abundance of overqualified, educated people is the US Census Bureau (who coincidently she applied with, scored brilliantly on the test and still did not get hired)?

How ridiculous is it that in the worst job market of all time since the Great Depression that anyone could be turned away simply because they have experience, are smart, have great work ethics, are willing and able?

NPR recently ran a story about a college degree not being worth a dime these days.  One has to spend now even more time and money earning a higher level of education in order to be considered for anything on the planet beside a minimum wage job.  But then again, what will that be worth in a market where most people are “overqualified.”

But if you are not very young  or very old, happen to be fairly well educated and really need to make money, there is almost no where for you to go.  Is there?

Getting back to my friend’s recent letter.  It’s Hollywood, keep in mind.  My friend graduated college in the 90′s.  The employer didn’t ask for a photo (which some have) but isn’t it possible that age descrimination might have come into play as well here.  The job she applied for is very visible.  Customer service and all that.  She completely fit the job description to a tee.

Another friend floundered for a year before she was able to get a job.  In the meantime, getting herself into severe debt with her landlord, family and friends just trying to stay alive.  I often saw her eat cold beans out of a can, half for breakfast half for dinner, and nothing more.

Finding employment these days feels a lot like the shrinking middle class in America.  Pretty soon the opportunity won’t exist.

I am hoping not for everyone’s sake.

In the meantime, I’ve decided to give myself a good laugh today.  I found this on line while looking for images.  I think I will be heading to the bookstore soon.

“Overqualified’s cover letters are like a slap in the face, but the slap is hilarious, and you can’t stop laughing, and as soon as it’s over you want to tell all your friends about the slap. You know the kind?”
 – Ryan North,Dinosaur Comics “A real story unfolds in these pages, about a departed brother and the sibling left behind. It’s sad and fragmented and, in places, funny. This slender epistolary novel is charming.”
 – Los Angeles Times.

“Joey Comeau’s collection of real cover letters, Overqualified, is pretty much sui generis. Not to mention sweetly written, bitter and bitterly funny . . . One of the season’s most remarkable books.”
 – Maclean’s.

 

Cover letters are all the same. They’re useless. You write the same lies over and over again, listing the store-bought parts of yourself that you respect the least. God knows how they tell anyone apart, but this is how it’s done.

And then one day a car comes out of nowhere, and suddenly everything changes and you don’t know if he’ll ever wake up. You get out of bed in the morning, and when you sit down to write another paint-by-numbers cover letter, something entirely different comes out.

You start threatening instead of begging. You tell impolite jokes. You talk about your childhood and your sexual fantasies. You sign your real name and you put yourself honestly into letter after letter and there is no way you are ever going to get this job. Not with a letter like this.

And you send it anyway.

Click here to purchase the novel from Amazon. Overqualified started as a series of crazy job application letters that I actually sent to companies. Some of the original letters appear in the book, though they’ve been changed to fit with the novel’s weirdo narrative. The first edition is sold out, even before the book is technically published. This means you guys are amazing. The second editon is shipping now. – Joey

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Cartoon by Hugh

Wondering why you didn’t get the job? It was probably because:

  1. You’re not qualified.
  2. You’re overqualified.
  3. You’re qualified but someone else was more qualified or a better fit.
  4. You wore too much cologne / perfume.
  5. You smelled bad.
  6. You wore too much makeup.
  7. You were overdressed.
  8. You were underdressed.
  9. The job was filled internally.
  10. The job was put on hold.
  11. The CEO’s daughter got the job.
  12. You’re too old.
  13. You’re too young.
  14. You look older than you are.
  15. You look younger than you are.
  16. You’re too good looking.
  17. You’re not attractive enough.
  18. You acted too desperate.
  19. You acted uninterested.
  20. You didn’t sell yourself.
  21. You oversold yourself.
  22. You didn’t give enough detail in your answers to their questions.
  23. You answered questions in too much detail.
  24. Your answers were wrong or just plain stupid.
  25. You seemed overly prepared.
  26. You didn’t seem prepared.
  27. You were too chatty.
  28. You weren’t talkative enough.
  29. You were overly friendly.
  30. You weren’t friendly enough.
  31. You laughed too much.
  32. You didn’t show a sense of humor.
  33. You talked too loud.
  34. You talked too softly.
  35. You seemed arrogant.
  36. You didn’t show enough confidence.
  37. You were late.
  38. You arrived *way* too early.
  39. Your resume is too long.
  40. Your resume is too short.
  41. Your hair is too long.
  42. Your hair is too short.
  43. Your skirt was too tight.
  44. Your pants were too baggy.
  45. You were rude to the receptionist.
  46. You were rude to everyone.
  47. You appeared to be bored.
  48. You were overly eager.
  49. You lied.
  50. You asked for too much money.
  51. You were willing to take the job for much less than it pays.
  52. You have drunk, naked, or otherwise scary pictures on Facebook.
  53. They Googled you and found your blog about how much you hate your boss / your job / their product.
  54. You said you hate your mother / father / sister / brother.
  55. You didn’t go to the right college.
  56. They have a diversity initiative and you’re a white male.
  57. You answered your cell phone during the interview.
  58. You were nervous / sweaty / jittery.
  59. You live too far away.
  60. You didn’t return their calls quickly enough.
  61. You stalked the hiring manager.
  62. You seemed stuffy.
  63. You were too relaxed.
  64. Your piercing(s).
  65. Your tattoo(s).
  66. They didn’t think you would fit in.
  67. They’re skeptical of your willingness / ability to travel or to work the hours that the job requires.
  68. You made weird facial expressions when you spoke.
  69. You appeared aloof.
  70. You used poor grammar.
  71. You crushed fingers to the bone with your handshake.
  72. Your handshake was too limp.
  73. You didn’t make good eye contact.
  74. You didn’t send thank you notes.
  75. You brought your dog / boyfriend / girlfriend / mother to the interview.

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California’s Easter Earthquake

Posted on April 5, 2010 | Leave a comment


MEXICALI EARTHQUAKE:

The Mexicali earthquake that struck the California-Mexico border area at 3:40 p.m. Pacific Time Sunday spawned widespread reports of shaking chandeliers and sloshing pools in the Los Angeles area.

The earthquake, which was centered about 108 miles east of Tijuana, Mexico, some 10 miles below the surface appeared to have caused some more significant damage nearer the border, including one report of a death in Mexico, but officials are still gathering information.

The shaking lasted for 35 to 55 seconds and the 7.2-magnitude quake is the largest in Southern California since the 7.3 Landers quake on June 28, 1992.

Residents across Southern California and Arizona reported serious ground shakes, but there were no immediate reports of injuries and only limited reports of damages. However, Sunday’s quake also could trigger others in the coming days.

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Los Angeles Youth Network

Posted on April 4, 2010 | Leave a comment

10,000 Los Angeles kids will be sleeping on the streets tonight.

That’s hard.

Helping them is EASY.

Just click on the Social Vibe link on the right in the side bar (bottom).

It’s free.  It’s fast.  And it could save a life.

Los Angeles kids need your help today.  Show them you care.

Los Angeles Youth Network

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